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icunt tx-3

price : $500.00

why does your sister keep gobbling your filthy knob? because now, we have four, count 'em, four knobs to gobble.

the tx-3 is our latest turd sandwich for the rectitude of the guitar world. it's not right. it's got cooties. it's so awesome-y.

yeah, it's made of real nos vacuum tubes. one each, philips ef97 and ef98 pentodes. you can't buy those types in the us, heh heh. and no, the tx-3 is not like any of our previous products. it is totally different from the tx-1, tx-2, tm-7, and kv100. we laffy at you.

no doubt this device will be purchased by a good number of complete, total dickmorons. and thereafter, we will get emails complaining "it's broke, man, it's not loud enough" or "it's broke, man, it sounds weird" or "it's broke, man, it doesn't taste like a pancreas", or "dude, i put a 9-volt battery on it and it like killed the battery". or even "what's a cv, maaaan?" we get them every time we put out a new product. it's as inevitable as sunshine. or glenn beck hallucinating that lady gaga is munching on his book of mormon.

you plug the guitar into the input. you plug the guitar into the input. okay??

you attach the output to a guitar-amp input, okay? or a high-impedance audio input, okay?

no it will not drive a speaker, no it will not drive headphones, no it will not drive a 600-ohm input. if you doody any of that, you are a doody.

"oh dear, it's not loud enough" eat me eat me eat me.

turn all the knobs fully clockwise. then start messing with them. they control two feedback loops in the circuit, except the last knob, which controls output level. they all interact, ballface. yes, i cannot explain what they do, and you cannot predict what they do. they will not make you feel nostalgic for the 80s hair-metal era. they will trash the ever-loving shit out of your fat greasy snot-eating lesbian vagina-cheese-smelling guitar signal. hah.

you got a problem with loudness? you're doing something wrong. or misusing it. fuck off.

yes, turdmonkey, you can run a line-level signal to the tx-3. it will distort and still interact with the knobs, and sound like the filthy vomit of a wild possum living on a pile of cat-shit. it will make rebecca black cry, it will make justin bieber straight.

would you like a little story? okay....

one day, little wobbly-bobbly was walking down the street. a big scary white man in a black turtleneck jumped out of an alleyway. the swm screamed, "give me your liver!!" wobbly-bobbly was so scared, he threw his android tablet at the swm. then the swm melted into a puddle of goo. moral of the story: don't buy tablet computers.

have a sweet and sexy day.

Analogue Haven